Its been a long road!

I think this might be a good place to post this, if not feel free to move it to where it needs to be! But I am hoping someone here can give me some keen advice on what to do, because I am so confused and have been for a while!

My name is Sara, and I am 22. My story begins back in Kindergarten, there was a guy and his name is Chandon, We were best friends, and cared about each other very much. When we were about 7-8, he moved away! No warning or anything, I was devastated. I never stopped thinking about him though, and everyday I wondered where he was and what had happened to him, etc..

Lets move forward to about 6 or 7 years later, we were both 14, and I found him again, by accident at a bowling alley one night, I was so excited and we hugged and hugged and laughed and talked, and had a blast, and then he had to leave and of course, dumb me did not get his number, address or anything.
Good bye Chandon, for another 4 years!
By mere coincidence, we found each other once again, by a mutual friend, we did not even know we shared!
At this point in time we were both 18. That night when him (and our mutual friend) came to my house, my heart was jumping up and down and I couldn't control myself! I was sooo happy! We immediatly threw our arms around each other and hugged and shared a small kiss, it was the most fantastic moment of my life! Over the next 2 months, we got really close, calling each other all the time, going out late at night for food, and just sharing jokes, and stories, just being 18 and sharing a friendship renewd. But then, something awful happened!
I was trying to get ahold of him one day, I called for hours, no response.
Later that night me and group of my friends, went to the pool hall, get some laughs, shoot a game or 2 and then leave. Well wouldn't you know it, guess who else was at the pool hall, yup you guessed it, Chandon! It was cool at first, and I was about to go over and talk to him, when out of nowhere, some blonde bimbo, came over and sat on his lap! It took everything I had not to beat the buffy in her face! and slap him around a bit too!
I preceded to leave, only to run into them again in the parking lot, making out, and all that fun stuff. Once again took everything I had not to start a riot!
I cussed him out as I was leaving, called his phone, cussed him out again, texted him, cussing him out...yea I did alot of cussing!
After about a week of not hearing a word from him. My phone rang and it was his # I was hesitant to answer it, but was glad I did! It was his brother, HIS BROTHER! He was actually man enough to call me and ask me if I was ok, and if I needed someone to talk to, and we talked for about 20-30 mins. i couldn't tell you now what was said, but he def. made my night and made me feel a whole lot better! Me and Chandon never spoke again after that night!

Now here I am another 4 years later, and I am in a pickle! I had been looking for him for a while, something kept telling me to find him again, like I couldn't let him just be a memory! So after months of looking, I had a hunch to try one more time on myspace, and so i did, and wouldn't you know it, there he was! I sent him a message, a few messages actually and got no reply! and then I got soft and threw on the charm, and he bit! He wrote me back and all that! But after a while my heart got the best of me! After all these years! I am still in love with him! How could this be! After the way he treated me and all the mean and hateful things, and how he played me for a fool, why and how could I feel any emotion towards this guy! But i do, all it took was for me to look at his picture and I was head over heals all over again!

Here is my dilema! I am in a relationship and have been for almost 4 years! I have an almost 3 year old daughter, but I am not happy, nor have I been happy for about 2 years now!
Chandon just got out of a relationship, and has an (i think) 9-10month old daughter.
I told him about how I felt, I basically poured my heart and soul out in an e-mail, and he was stunned and speechless, but told me, he wasn't looking for a relationship and probably wouldn't be for a while, but he did want to be my friend again!
My heart is tearing me in two. I love him, and even though I know what happened between us, I can't make myself hate him, and I want to be with him more then anything, even though I know he only wants to be friends!
So what should I do, considering I am in a relationship (that I am not happy in)? Should I break it off, get a place of my own and hope for the best, or just accept the fact that he only wants to be friends, and beat myself up for the rest of my life, probably being with someone I don't really wanna be with, just because I didn't wanna push Chandon away from me again, by being to pushy or clingy!
Sorry if this is confusing...but it really is!
If anyone could help I would really appreciate it!
Thanks everyone!