I want my ex back... more than anything...

Ok, so this will be a little long winded... here goes:

I met my ex 2 years ago. I was 19 and she was 23. We started out as good friends, then great friends, then we had a few physical moments. Then we just started hanging out all the time and it just blossomed into a great relationship. However, I'd never been in a serious relationship before and... well, I won't sugar coat any of it. I took her for granted, didn't appreciate her the way she deserved, and she lost her trust in me. Because I'd never been in a serious relationship before the commitment was hard for me... and she got fed up with waiting. But she loved me passionately, loved me deeply... and now I know that, the entire time, I did too... I just didn't know how to show it. I remember telling myself she's the perfect woman for me... she's beautiful, smart, funny, independent, we like a lot of the same things... I really can see us as together forever.

Cut to this year's Christmas break. She knows I've come around but she says we should still take a break to assess the situation. Ok. Well, turns out while I had my head in my butt she'd been talking to a friend of mine, another guy. He's a nice guy, but... well, more on that later. Anyway, she said she wasn't giving up on me. Well, the "break" didn't work well... we hung out a couple times (Christmas shopping, my birthday) and on all occasions we got physical... hand holding, cuddling, kissing, some more serious things but no sex. But I kept bringing up the relationship all the time... and I'm sure that pushed her away. She kept saying she saw herself with me in the future, that our history together gave me the advantage...

Cut to a couple days ago, the break up. Remember I never gave her the "break" from talking about the relationship (and if that's what ruined all of this... I just can't stomach that...)... well, she told me that I never gave it to her and she was going to date this other guy. Well I broke down, cried, begged to get her back... she said she still couldn't trust me yet because, well, I hadn't had time or the break to show her I could. They made it "official" two days ago.

Cut to yesterday... I was still emotional but I'd read some things and talked to some friends and I decided to do the hardest thing I think I've ever done... I called her up and I told her I was sorry, sincerely sorry, for all that I'd done to her. I told her that I understood why we split up and I respect her decision. Then I told her I needed a break from her as well and asked her not to contact me. To which she said, "I'm not mad at you. I did what I thought was best for everyone. The break will help the healing process. Just call me when you're ready." I hung up and burst into tears because, well, you can imagine how that sounds to me. So it's been one day since I initiated no contact and it's destroying me inside... I've started running and eating better to get my mind off of her but it's still hard...

Now, about the guy... what I'm about to say you can say I'm totally just biased but hear me out, please. He is a good guy, a nice guy. But he's not the kind of guy she likes... let me explain. He's a very military precision guy, the dates are all planned to the minute. He's not very PDA or expressive about his love for someone in public. She, however, is very random and spontaneous. We used to plan dates or outings where I'd just pick her up and we'd do whatever we felt like for hours. And she loves PDA. She loves holding hands, cuddling, kissing, having the love for her shouted from the rooftops... and I wish I'd done the latter sooner. I view their relationship as "safe"... she got hurt in her last relationship as did he (both for the same reason) and their relationship is one where he won't hurt her and she knows that... it's safe. Does safe last?

I bring that up to say this... remember, it was only a couple days ago (before she told me they were really going to give dating a try) that we'd held hands and cuddled while we were at the mall. He'd also been physical with his ex and even had been talking about asking her out on a date a few days before they got together... I guess those could be moments of weakness but... I just want to think that means deep down she's still in love with me, that the passion is just there if I can show her I've changed. He even told his ex that he didn't see himself marrying her.

Now I say all this because... what do you all think? I'm hurting now, even more with no contact in place and, since I'm waiting for her to make contact again, I'm feeling like she never will... it's a hard place to be in. I just... I want this girl back so much... I can't bear thinking I ruined all of this and now I have to live thru more pain because I do love her as much as she loved... loves me.

Just... help me guys, please... I want her back.