Rules I've Learned To Live By

1. If crying won't make her stay? They won't make her come back!

2. Don't date the "pay-roll"

3. Ain't no one monkey makes a show!

4. Don't beg someone to let you "love' them!

5. There's no shortage of good women, but there sure as Hell a shortage of good men!

6. Good men/women are like good jobs! They're out there! But they generaly are already taken, and the ones that have them? They plan on keeping them, have had them a good long while, and your just about going to have to kill them to get them away from them!

7. Just do the "right thing" You know what it is, the good Lord wrote it upon your heart the day you were born!

8. Keep your "honor" and "reputation" clean, it will save your azz when you have nothing else left!

9. Parts of me? They're pretty awesome! The rest I'm working on! God and I aren't finished yet! I'm a work in progress!

10. The mind of "man" that can "conceive" is the mind of man that "acheive"

11. Hope is eternal!

12. Never give up! Never surrender!

13. You get knocked down? Get up again, never let them keep you down, even if it means die trying!

14. Do or don't do! There is no such thing as "try"

15. Sometimes you've just got to get "pitdog mad-dog" mean! Even with yourself!

16. Quit beating yourself up! There's always some "Joker" just outside your front door, with a Louiville Slugger waiting to do the job for you just to see the look on your face!

17. Once your parents are gone? Your pretty much on your own if not before then!

18. Friends in need, are friends indeed!

19. When your dog quits barking at your neighbor at the back door, you need to get to looking!

20. Your wife says she's "Not Happy" or "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or you come home and its just the preacher and her and there's not a dead body around, its time to find a divorce lawyer!